Oxymoron called Human Resource

In the list of corporate goof ups HR guys feature pretty much at the top, just a notch below high salaried CEOs. I mean is it that difficult to understand that people don’t like to work if they are getting paid anyways?

Anyways about HR, I have been working for a decade now and I am still unable to understand ki “karte kya hain ye log?” (meaning what do they do?)

hr-humor-cartoon

What do they do?

Call placement firms or go online and shortlist candidates? I mean seriously who is incapable of doing that for themselves? And lets just consider that some people are that incapable, they don’t have time or means like those people who need secretaries, lets just consider HR is delegated that work. Do we really need structured, formal education in the field lasting 2-3 years? Like what are they taught?

101 ways to bullshit!

Lets move on to their other tasks, HR is supposed to be the thread that binds the organization together. All those who were grimacing at the usage of the harsh word bullshit above, I hope are getting the drift now.

“HR is to corporate what interior designing is to art”

If you ask me the glue or thread that binds the organization together it should probably be those little buggers who are actually producing something or those selling it. So basically the Chinese. But I’m sure as always HR will differ.

Humanity is little to do with HR. I think, they think that the term Human in the name of their department is just a coincidence.

Anyways, here’s an experience.

So I received an offer to join an offshore centre. Excited about the prospects I confided in the Head HR, who was doing the salary negotiation with me that I do not know how things are over there and thus am unable to quote an amount. She was an oldish lady and I was closer to her children’s age than I was to hers.

“It is as expensive as say Mumbai” she said.

“Fair enough in that case,” and I settled on a number without rechecking with anyone else. Someone else did warn that the ground realities are different and thus I double checked with the lady again. Here I was talking to a Group Head of HR and she had been there more times than many, and thus I thought she was a better bet to count on. Also it was not that she will get rid of me once I join, on the contrary once I join I probably was nearer, I had thought. Clearly I was young and had 1 foot in Rapunzel’s dream.

Once there I realized that the prices were closer to Shanghai than Mumbai, unless my HR head was looking at a different map.

Anyways, after a few weeks or so of pondering I decided to finally bring this to the HR Head’s notice, “In effect I am now making less than what I was in my own backyard” I cribbed.

“Well” she replied “I suggest you should’ve thought that before joining” she suggested.

I like everyone else has been bitten by HR numerous times but that one truly stung.

Anyways young and full of vengeance I worked there for about a year and can shamelessly admit that achieved nothing. I took it more as a company paid picnic abroad and simply enjoyed. Also I realized that I was not the only one who was getting paid for nothing but there were plenty others including the HR Head herself, obviously.

HR is truly a millionth fix.

Appeal to Organizations: Save your money or at least hire pretty if not pleasing people.

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